Ole Gunnar Solskjaer - Thanks for the goals, Thanks for the memories, you will never ever be forgotten

BITTERSPOTTING
Choose city. Choose over thirty years without a major trophy. Choose a corrupt, embezzling, former politician with a suspect human rights record for an owner and consider him a messiah. Choose a council stadium bought for you with money from local taxpayers. Choose to change your kit colour, ground and badge within the space of five years and then harp on about your sense of history and tradition. Choose "Munich 58". Choose Frank Swift. Choose Sven Goran Eriksson and wondering where the fuck you are on a Saturday afternoon. Choose Franny Lee, Alan Ball and Gerry Creaney. Choose £1.4million for Steve Daley. Choose five different managers in a season. Choose Colin Bell over George Best. Choose total, abject failure at the end of it all, blaming and hounding your manager, your chairman, your players, nothing but an embarrassment to the majority of the city from which you hail. Choose your future. Choose city.

SCOUSESPOTTING
Choose Liverpool. Choose the dole queue. Choose to scam disability benefit. Choose mind-numbing, grinding efficiency over flair. Choose Torben Piechnik, Istvan Kozma and Paul Stewart. Choose not to win a single league title since the backpass rule was implemented. Choose penalties. Choose car stereos, hubcaps and stanley knives. Choose to trade on your proud sense of tradition and then not lift a finger in protest when two American billionaires who don't even know the name of your club decide to buy it. Choose to win the European Cup whilst only having to play seven matches. Choose to bask in a perpetual, sickening, media love-in. Choose celebrities who fuck off out of your city as soon as they have earned the money to do so and then spend the rest of their lives harping on about how wonderful it is. Choose to sing about Munich until confronted with your own tragedy. Choose to end it all in an orgy of self pity, just another excuse to perpetuate the grief culture spawned by your selfish, insular fucked-up excuse for a city. Choose your future. Choose Scouse.

REPUBLIK OF MANCUNIA

FUCK THE SCOUSERS

WATPOAE!