Alrighty then, picture this if you will:10 to 2:00 AM, X, yogi DMT and a box of Krispy Kremes in my "need to know" pose just outside Area 51 contemplating the whole "chosen people thingy when a flaming stealth banana split the sky like one would hope but never expect to see a place like this.Cutting right angle donuts on a dime, stopping at my Birkenstocks and me yelpin HOLY F@#$ING S@#T!
Then the X-Files being, looking like some kind of blue-green Jackie Chan with Isabella Rosellini lips and breath that reeked of vanilla chig champa.Did a slow-mo matrix descent out of the butt end of the banana vessel and hovered above my bug eyes, my gaping jaw, and my sweaty L.Ron Hubbard upper lip and all I could think was "I hope Uncle Martin here doesn't notice I pissed my pants".
So light in his way, like an apparition he had me crying out "F@#% me, it's gotta be, Deadhead chemistry, the blotter got right on top of me, got me seeing E-motherf@#%ing-T!
And after calming me down with some orange slices and some fetal spooning, E.T. revealed to me his singualr purpose.He said "you are the chosen one.the one who will deliver the message.a message of hope for those who hear and a warning for those who don't."Me?The chosen one?They chose me!And I didn't even graduate from high school!
Then he looked right through me with somniferous almond eyes.Don't even know what that means, must remember to right it down.This is so real.Like the time he floated away.See my heart is pounding, 'cause this s@#t never happens to me.Can't breathe right now!It was so real.Like I woke up in wonderland.All sort of terrifying.And I don't wanna be alone when I tell the story.And can anyone tell me why you all sound like peanut's parents?Will I ever be coming down?This is so real.Finally it's my lucky day.See my heart is racing, 'cause this s@#t never happens to me.
Can't breathe right now.You believe me don't you?Please believe what I just said, see they're telling true.and this wasn't all in my head.See they took me by the hand and invited me in.Then they showed me something.I don't even know where to begin.
Overwhelmed as one would be, placed in my position.Such a heavy burden now to be the one.Born to bear and read to all the details of our ending.But I forgot my pen.S@#t the bed again.It's typical.