Chuck Norris invented the lisp, because then it would sound like people were saying Chuck 'Nowuss'. Which is exactly what he is.

lol like it?

When Chuck Norris, Mr. T, and Vin Diesel went to Heaven, all the angels wondered where they would sit. Mr. T took his position at the right hand of God and Vin at the left. Chuck Norris looked at God and said, "You're in my seat."

Join the Empire today!

when Chuck Norris jumps in a pool,he doesnt get wet...the pool gets Chuck.

Chuck Norris once had a pissing contest and his opponent drowned.

Chuck is the reason there is no dinosaurs or hitler.

Chuck Norris counted to infinty.....twice

every year on his birthday chuck norris celabraets by throwing a new born baby into the sun
jesus walked on water ,chuck norris walked on jesus
when chuck norris donates blood he declines the needle asking for a handgun and a bucket
god said ''let there be light.''chuck norris said''say please''

Damn! I knew there was something wrong with the third Fact!

God decided to call himself "Supreme Being" because Chuck Norris was too much for him...

My originals

The North and South Pole was created when Chuck Norris stopped a criminal...

God decided to call himself "Supreme Being" because Chuck Norris wasn't too much for him... (Forgive my bad English)

Natural Disasters is the results of Chuck Norris' movements...

chuck norris crossed the road. no one has dared to question his motives.

A banana peel once slipped on Chuck Norris.

When ever the Devil needs something done, he just sacrifices a animal to chuck norris and hopes he gives him the strength to do it lol